So Sleepy!

Our return from Michigan signaled about 6 of the hardest weeks of my mothering life. Benjamin, my sweetheart of a child who did not need the support of a swing for naps in infancy or constant singing to calm him or make him stop crying, for the first time decided: he wasn't going to nap. He'd sleep for about 25 minutes at each of his morning and afternoon naps. It did not matter at what time I put him down - if he was showing signs of being sleepy or overtired. He was in revolt.

I read books. I talked to other moms. I cried out to God. I let Benjamin cry. Goodness gracious. It was tough. It was physically exhausting because I never had a break. But it was psychologically exhausting too because listening to him scream would just wear me down and I would get edgy and frustrated and short. It was a tough time.

I didn't want to fall into any crutches, but a few weeks into this and I discovered that Benjamin would nurse after waking from his afternoon nap and then generally fall asleep on me in our nursing chair. He was so sleepy! I tried a few times putting him down once he was asleep, and he would bolt awake with terror and screams. So I soon gave up on that, and I started letting him sleep on me with regularity. Sometimes I'd have a book or my Bible study at hand to read. Sometimes I would sleep too. It was needed rest for both of us.

he's a precious angel

I certainly thought all that pain and suffering he endured while not being able to nap sufficiently was the sign that pulling up was just a stepping stone to the real next developmental milestone: walking. But no. No steps came. Poor thing!